Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
