Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
