He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
