My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just high enough for therapy.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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