O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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