Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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