Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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