Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
