I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
