I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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