After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
