Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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