Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
