I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
