doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
