my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
