Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
