operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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