Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
