Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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