i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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