I want to stick my p in your. b.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
