I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
