He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize