Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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