first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
