If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
