I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
