no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
