Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
