Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
