We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
