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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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