EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
