You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
