Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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