Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
