hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you traded sex for a burrito?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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