By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
