Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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