Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize