apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
