i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
