Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
