did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
