where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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