Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
