i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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