so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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