Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
