once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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