so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
