k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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