so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
