I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
