i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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