you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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