fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
