they need to just BURY HIM!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize