he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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