do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
