you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Four minutes until I can fart!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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