You made me cry and you don't even care
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I touched a dick in church today
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
